The Legs Are the Last to Go (Diahann Carroll) (N) by Diahann Carroll

Author:Diahann Carroll [Carroll, Diahann]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780061982132
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Vic did not want me to go away to Toronto for a year to be in Sunset Boulevard. When it became clear that I might actually get the part, we were visiting friends of his in Florida. This packet of music arrived, and I was playing a recording and singing to it one day, and Vic said, “These are very challenging songs vocally, and you’re going to be away for a long time. I don’t think you should do this.” It stopped me cold. I put the music away. But I didn’t respond. I certainly wasn’t ready to tell him that it looked like I would be offered the part. I knew he didn’t want me away from our marriage. And I’m still not positive in my heart that I didn’t feel like a criminal for wanting the role. He never quite said, “Do you want this marriage or do you want your career?” But we were certainly in the realm of that kind of question. So it was there in the living room of his friends in a pleasant golf community in Florida that this deep emotional crevice had become even bigger between us.

Things had not been so peachy in our marriage, anyway. I knew that. We were comfortable on some levels, yes, and looked like quite a happy and successful couple. But if things were so great, why did I always seem to need a drink around him? For years, I had stayed away from the drinking that was almost mandatory (Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra were my big show-business brothers, for goodness’ sake!) in my field. And I was never fond of how my mother behaved after a couple of drinks. But with each man and each marriage, it is true that I found myself needing a glass of wine or a cocktail to accompany every bumpy conversation. With Vic, the drinking had gotten as close to dangerous as it ever had. I still remember the night we were out to dinner with some friends of his who didn’t thrill me. But he wouldn’t take my cue at the end of the night that I wanted to go home and do my exercises and go to bed. I should have just called a cab. But I was tipsy enough to get down on the floor and to start doing my exercises right there at the restaurant table. It may seem funny now, but at the time it was a sign that something was going very wrong between us.

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